4 Money Questions You Should Know About Your Partner Before Getting Married
More than 2 million marriages take place every year. With so many couples tying the knot, it's fair to dive into the nitty-gritty elements of this massively important life choice. For many, marriage marks a key milestone, yet life after the wedding often brings many of the same challenges faced during the engagement.
A happy, healthy marriage requires ongoing effort — staying on the same page, whether it's in meal planning, choosing the next vacation destination, or even picking something to watch on TV. Communication is the bedrock of a strong marriage, and it's especially crucial when it comes to managing finances. In fact, financial disagreements are a leading cause of marital strain, contributing to friction in around 40% of arguments. Fighting about money is rarely just about finances — it often reflects deeper priorities. Money drives many decisions, and conflicts can linger. For couples looking to start off strong, these four money questions can set the tone for ongoing dialogue, helping both partners feel respected, heard, and valued.
What are their goals for the next 5, 10, or 20 years?
One of the first things any couple should discuss is their future. No partnership can thrive without a basic understanding of each other's hopes and dreams. These goals might include personal ambitions like staying in shape, or major life decisions like moving to a new city, going back to school, or having children. Sometimes your plans will mesh perfectly, but this isn't always the case. It's important to understand your partner's vision for the future before tying the knot.
If you can't agree on major life decisions — like whether to have children — you're putting a massive barrier in the way of a long-term partnership from the start. This decision may not matter in the early stages of dating, but it's a potential deal breaker when marriage is on the table. Many of these decisions, especially those involving children, also carry a financial component. The surprising cost to raise even one child is on the rise, with CreditKarma estimating that a child born in 2025 will come with a price tag of over $318,000 for the parents. The same trend applies to education, with average annual tuition for in-state public colleges at nearly $10,000.
What do your individual debt loads look like?
No couple should go into a marriage financially blind. Having a conversation about debts, incomes, expected financial changes, and more before saying "I do" is absolutely non-negotiable. Understanding your combined debts is crucial because it will affect how your finances merge with other aspects of your intertwined lives. If one partner brings significant debt into the picture, both partners will need to account for it in their shared budget. The alternative is secrecy and mistrust that will only grow with time.
Discussing your financial obligations with a loved one can be tough, but being open about past choices can ease tension. The average American carries over $6,500 in credit card debt, but student loans (averaging $39,000 per borrower) and other repayment burdens can factor heavily into your financial picture as well. Aim your conversation toward building trust. Even with solid finances, fostering openness early creates a strong foundation and sets the tone for your shared future.
It's important to consider alternative financial obligations beyond traditional debts as well. You may need to pay for an adult parent's health care expenses or help a younger sibling with their rent each month. Elderly parent care costs an average of almost $7,000 per year, adding a significant obligation to the mix.
What does their emergency fund and other savings look like?
Your emergency fund is an important component of your financial health, supporting everything you do in daily life. Without this financial cushion, lots of decisions become more precarious. An emergency fund ensures that if work, illness, or injury disrupts your income, your finances won't take a dramatic nosedive. While having an emergency fund might not change the way you spend money, it alleviates a lot of the stress that might otherwise come into the picture.
You may have been diligently putting money aside for a rainy day for years, building to the recommended three to six months' worth of coverage for your essential expenses. But there's no guarantee that your partner has been doing the same. On the other hand, you might be the undersaver in the relationship (Bankrate's 2025 Annual Emergency Savings Report found that 46% of Americans had less than three months of coverage), signaling a need to prioritize greater savings. Knowing how you and your partner stack up can help shape your financial priorities. Additionally, retirement savings, routine investment accounts, and other forms of saving for the future should also be discussed. Everyone's savings profile will be different, but both you and your partner will ideally have at least some extra money in a few different buckets to handle emergencies as well as short- and long-term spending goals.
What would they do first after winning $100,000?
The odds of winning the lottery are not good. There are some ways to slightly boost your odds, but there's no surefire way to make playing the numbers worth your while financially. However, setting that aside for just a moment, it's actually fairly instructive to have a conversation about what you and your partner would do with a sudden windfall. It might not come in the form of a winning $100,000 lottery ticket, but what about an unexpected bonus? You might also rake in a significant amount of money through a lawsuit payout or inheritance from a relative.
It's unlikely that you'll suddenly come into an extra hundred grand, but what would you do if you woke up tomorrow with a smaller yet still substantial deposit in your bank account? The average private-sector bonus for American workers in 2024 was 2.8% of their salaries. The average U.S. salary in 2025 was $66,622, so a 2.8% bonus would be more than $1,800. The average tax refund in 2025 was $3,186.
Many people have an answer for that question, but they may not always know what their significant other would do with any amount of unplanned funds, whether $2,000 or $100,000. Talking with your partner about how they'd spend (or save) an extra lump sum of cash can reveal their broader financial priorities and values.