The No. 1 Dating Red Flag According To A Financial Therapist

Money is an incredibly sensitive topic, mostly because of all the emotions that conversations around it tend to stir up. For some people, these conversations are difficult to have because it's hard to admit that they haven't reached their financial goals. For others, it reminds them of an insecure childhood where money was an issue. But it's still a very important topic, especially in romantic relationships. 

According to Fidelity's Couples and Money Study 2024, about 45% of people in relationships report arguing about money on occasion, and one in four name money as their greatest relationship challenge. When relationships end over "money issues," the common culprits are bigger problems, such as a huge hidden debt, financial abuse, or a partner who can't kick a spending habit. The truth is, a lot of those bigger, more serious issues start from smaller red flags that could have been spotted earlier. 

In November 2025, CNBC Make It spoke with the CEO of Your Financial Therapist, Erika Wasserman, about which financial red flags to keep an eye out for in a partner. According to Wasserman, the number one financial red flag is stonewalling — where a person often withdraws from conversations about money. In the interview, she agreed that money conversations are difficult and "tend to put people on guard," emphasizing the importance of partners being open to working on having these discussions. But when a partner constantly brushes it off or flat out refuses to talk about money, it can be a warning sign of financial infidelity. 

A partner avoiding conversations about salaries in the early stages of a relationship isn't stonewalling and is not a red flag. Yet. Stonewalling is turning away, shutting off, or completely avoiding any conversation about the topic. Simple avoidance becomes stonewalling when a partner always shuts down when you ask about basic things like budgeting, or goes mute when it's time to talk about splitting bills. A comment brushed off here, a changed subject there, and altogether, you can't have any meaningful conversations with the partner about money or building a life together.

The avoidance is such a big deal because it shows a complete refusal to communicate. As a financial therapist, Erika Wasserman explains that money is an essential part of life and relationships. People build financial intimacy by sharing financial habits, planning for a future together, or setting financial goals to achieve together. Stonewalling doesn't leave room for any of this and ultimately dooms the relationship. A Love and Money Study by TD Bank from 2016 (via The Washington Post) showed that couples who talked about finances were 78% happier than those who didn't. 

Wasserman isn't alone in how seriously she characterized this behavior. Financial expert, author, and host of the Netflix show "How to Get Rich," Ramit Sethi, told CNBC that when a partner won't talk about money, "[it] is the most dire of circumstances." His reasoning is the same as Wasserman's: "Money cuts across everything," so conversations are necessary to figure out if you have the same goals, desires, or are even financially compatible at all. By having constructive conversations about money, partners can build financial intimacy and start taking bigger steps, such as sharing credit reports.